Some friendships are best kept distant

Call me naive, but I have only recently learnt that there are some friendships which work best when you don’t see each other that often.

I have a smallish circle of friends, preferring close friends rather than many friends. In part this is due to circumstance - having studied and lived abroad at key times of my life means I don’t have the advantage of being close geographically to my alma maters and, thus, the alumni and the network that accords.

I do, however, also naturally prefer close rather than superficial relationships and if there is one regret I have when it comes to friends is that I have lost touch with one or two very good friends with whom I shared the  experiences of some of my crucial growing years.

That regret is balanced out by the warm, accepting, unconditional and at times intense friendships with a select few with whom I’ve spent long hours, days, weeks together, sharing meals, work and in some cases, homes, with.

So it’s taken me awhile to understand what I think many people instinctively know and that this doesn’t always work. My natural sledgehammer approach to life, where I insist on banging things into the shape I want them to be, has once again caused me to have a protracted learning curve in this instance.

But like all things else, it is a valuable lesson. I have begun to understand that there are some friends who will drift into your life every other year or so, cause a stir, then meld back into the mists of time only to reappear again some years later. And I now see that this is actually a healthy thing and it’s just one more life-lesson I am grateful for the opportunity to have learnt through experience.

Now if only someone could link me up again with my erstwhile best-buddy from Secondary School days, Ng Kien Hoon. Last I found he worked with Pinsent Masons in Hong Kong and I think he was also with Project Orbis. Anyone have any clues?